My little family!

My little family!

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Regret or not to regret... that is the question!

Happiest Thursday!!!

IT'S MARCH - excuse me, but where did January & February go?!!? Days are zooming on by and in the mix of a Benny EPIC tantrum (apologies for the insane screams at 7:30 AM dear neighbors) - I started thinking about regret. 

It's no secret that the thought of a 3rd baby is a daily thought I have. With my first two being 19 months apart, the thought of having another sooner rather then later is quite appealing. However -- my gem of a husband does not agree. He's on the fence about having adding more children ever (bring on the tears) but it's not without good reason. He believes we hit the jackpot with two healthy, beautiful babies (one boy, one girl) and shouldn't risk it.

 Financially speaking, we're in a bit of a stump with buying the new house and all the stress falls on him as he is the main provider. Furthermore, he grew up in a house with one other sibling while I grew up the youngest of 4. SOOOO... our ideas of the "perfect number" are fairly far apart. I'm 32 and he is 33 so I know we have plenty of time. I know there isn't a rush and I KNOW that we are lucky lucky lucky. BUT.. I can't help but think that are family is missing something. Someone. I just know it, in the pit of my stomach, in the little space in my heart that is ready to grow and love on one more baby. I know we'll figure it out, one way or another. I stumbled upon a beautiful quote that said "You'll never regret having another baby but you'll always regret NOT having one more." How true that feels. 

It goes me thinking... what are my biggest regrets? SO - in no particular order....and in the hopes that perhaps I could prevent someone from making the same mistakes ;)

1. Regret # 1- Tanning as a kid. 
WHY didn't I listen to my mom or Cosmo magazine when they waxed poetic about the horrible effects of the sun and a tanning booth. I tanned through high school, I tanned DAILY through college and I even tanned a few times leading up to my wedding. GROSS. I've since discovered I am learning to enjoy my fair skin and when I don't? I get the organic spray tan and BOOM! I'm feeling tan and thin without the side effects. I get yearly checks at my dermatologist but I know I have premature wrinkles from all those hours spent making. Moral of this story??? DON'T TAN. WEAR SUNSCREEN. BE SMARTER THEN I WAS FROM THE AGES OF 14-26. Also, click here for some more information on Melanoma (The most dangerous form of skin cancer) -- click here.
** How to remedy this regret? Wearing sunscreen, avoiding the sun, using a good skincare regimen and one day getting botox, ha!!!**

2. Regret # 2 - Not going to Europe post college. 
After graduating from the University of Central Florida in 2005, I moved home. THEN.. my siblings gifted me a TRIP TO EUROPE. I had never been (and this remains true to this day, sadly). They handed me a book on Europe and told me to plan away. I called my friends and I called my boyfriend (now husband) and I searched but no one was able to go with me. Most couldn't afford it and others had other plans. The weeks and months went by and I quickly got a real job so Europe became an afterthought. And then the year passed and I realized I never planned a trip. (See also, my boyfriend broke up with me and so for 10 months I was completely miserable and then he came back and now we're married so it was perhaps all meant to be) -- BUT STILL. WHY DIDN'T I GO TO EUROPE?!??!! I should have just gone by myself. I should have made someone go with me. DUMB.
**How to remedy this regret? Make the trip with my hubby prior to if/when we add another baby to the picture. Or just wait and take the kids with us when they are a bit older!!!**

3. Regret # 3 - Not getting my Masters in Speech Pathology post college.
Prior to my 10 month breakup with Josh, I debated moving to South Florida. I researched Speech Pathology masters programs and ultimately decided to do it. THEN..we broke up and I threw myself into my pharmaceutical work. I went from a 6 month job at Wyeth to a 10 month job at Merck to an 8 year career at Johnson & Johnson. I loved what I did in the pharmaceutical world but I reallyyyyy regret not getting the masters degree. It's a 2 year intensive program and I should have done it back then.
**How to remedy this regret? Realize it's NEVER too late and get my Masters one day in the future!!!**

4. Regret # 4 - Not going to Hawaii on my Honeymoon
Don't get my wrong -- I LOVED our Honeymoon to Couples Negril in Jamaica (I mean, we've been back an additional 3 times if that's any indication of how much we loved it!!) - but I wish I would have taken the time (2 weeks!) to head to Hawaii and venture around that beautiful place. I hope to get there one day soon (maybe for our 10th anniversary) but I'll always regret not going for our Honeymoon.
**How to remedy this regret? Plan a trip to Hawaii. Duh.**

5. Regret # 5 - Not losing the baby weight. Twice.
I gained A LOT of weight with both babies. An embarrassing amount, in face. BUT -- I think my body just needs the extra weight?? Seriously - I didn't stuff my face and I didn't sit my butt on the sofa for 9 months so I'm just convinced some women gain a lot. Which is all good and fine.. except?? I'm up approximately 16 pounds from pre-Layla and and I'm up approximately 6 pounds from pre-Benny. I just can't lose it despite my (not so best) efforts. I will lose it but it's not easy. My whole body is curvier, lumpier and saggier then ever before... these extra 2o pounds need to GO! ;)
**How to remedy this regret? LOSE THE WEIGHT. AND?? I JOINED WEIGHT WATCHERS THIS MORNING!! CONTINUE WITH MY 21 DAY FIX. GET IN SHAPE!!**

6. Regret # 6 - Not living in NYC or downtown Philadelphia. 
I love our little space in the suburbs. I prefer the quiet and I get nervous easily which makes me think living in the middle of Manhattan may put me over the edge. BUT.. I also LOVE the city. The hustle and flow and overall energy. I really wish that at one point in my 20's, I had moved to NYC or at least to the middle of Philly and stayed there for a couple of years. At one point, my best friend Shari & I had a deposit down on an apartment in the Art Museum area but we quickly realized how expensive and dumb it would be because we both had no money. NOW I realize how stupid money is and how we can always make more but we're only 22 one. UH. 
**How to remedy this regret? Visit Philly & NYC quite often and realize some dreams don't come true for a reason. 

#7 Regret # 7 - Not appreciating the GOOD in every season. 
As long as I remember, I always counted down to the next big thing. I remember my mom planning skiing trips as kids and I would mark off each day until the ski trip came. OR counting down the months until summer camp or until school started or until my birthday or until the next BIG thing. This continued all the way through elementary, middle, high school, college and beyond. I know looking forward to things are great but I really wish I enjoyed each and every season. High School was a dream come true, college was the best time of my life, pre-engagement was fabulous, GETTING engaged was the perfect day, buying houses #1, 2 AND 3 were all better then the next, being pregnant with Layla, newborn Layla, surprise pregnancy with Benny, newborn Benny and BOOM - NOW HERE WE ARE! I need to remember to slow it all down.. stop waiting.. stop thinking about the next step & just enjoy TODAY.
**How to remedy this regret? ENJOY EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF THIS MAGIC!!!

I'm sure my regret list could go on for days but these are the top.. what are some of your biggest regrets?? 
With love,
Courtney