My little family!

My little family!

Monday, February 18, 2013

Vent. (And 5 weeks old!)

My Benny is 5 weeks old.
It's been a tough few weeks.
On top of a tough pregnancy.

I don't mean to complain.
I know how lucky I am.

But boy... am I tired.
Having two babies under 20 months is not for the faint of heart.

In no particular order... my list of what's causing my tears, all day, everyday.

1. Breastfeeding pain. OW. I nursed Layla for 11 1/2 months... I remember it being painful for the first few (7-8) weeks but I thought by now I'd have some relief. Not so much. I've debated calling a lactation consultant but I don't know if it will help. His latch appears to be perfect and I think I'm just a huge baby with a low pain threshold. Or something.

2. Layla's early wake up. Three days in a row. She usually sleeps until 7/7:30 AM. We've gone from 6:30 AM to 6:15 AM to 6:00 AM today. HELP. I THINK it's due to teething. Which is possibly the cause of my next complain as well...

3. Layla's runny nose. And cough. And throwing up. And one week of miserable mood beginning at dinner time and lasting until bed time. For no reason. She cries and whines and is not happy. We distract her as best as possible. It sucks.

4. Lack of sleep. Benny eats every 2-3 hours (with one long stretch at the beginning of the night - usually 4 hours). His eating takes a long time. I'm up all night, it feels. He doesn't always sleep well in the rock & play sleeper so I bring him bed. He doesn't sleep well there either, so I sleep less. I'm tired. I forgot what it's like to survive on little to no sleep. I don't do well. Josh has let me get longer stretches of sleep the past couple of nights by keeping Benny downstairs. This is possibly saving my sanity.

5. Messy house. I mean... I have a cleaning lady, every other week, and my house appears as though it's never been cleaning. It's a disaster. Or so it feels. The laundry is constant. The trash piles up. What do people do and how do they keep their house clean?

6. My body. I know... I'm 5 weeks post C-Section but I stare at my body in the mirror and I'm greeted by a vague resemblance of who I used to look like. I hate it. I'm ready to diet and work out and I can only hope I come close to a thinner appearance (mind you.. I used to think I was fat. What an idiot).

7. The winter. I'M OVER IT. The cold. The wind. The snow. I have serious cabin fever. I want to walk outside. I want to play in the warm sun. I want to leave the house without fear of my children catching frost bite. I've researched South Florida real estate because of this, no joke.

8. Missing my friends. I MISS THEM. I miss girls night. Melanie came over this weekend and I was 4 seconds away from asking her to move in. I love my best friend.

9. Mom guilt. One baby cries. Then the other baby cries. And I am alone and have to decide who to help first. And it breaks my heart. I wish I had 10 arms so I could hug everyone and 10 laps so I could hold everyone - but I don't. So I run back and forth in a poor attempt to make everyone happy. And ultimately someone is upset and it's heartbreaking.

10. I miss Josh. We spend all day, everyday together but it's always clouded by a million things going on around us. I'd love to have some time - just us - to talk. And hug. And cuddle.


And now... because I am a huge baby and in the thick of new mom blues...

Some things that are making me happy.

1. The way Layla is always by her brother's side. Loving him. Helping him. Trying to put a hair clip in his hair. Cover him with a blanket. Put a hat on him.

2. The noises Benny makes. They are so sweet, so quiet, like a little kitten purring. I want to record the sounds and listen to them everyday. They literally make me melt.

3. The way Josh tries to make me laugh when I'm in a funk. 10 1/2 years into our relationship and he still makes my heart putter. The roses he got me for valentine's day are gorgeous. I can't wait for our date on Friday.

4. Josh's mom is coming to town on Thursday - it will be a huge relief to have help. And Layla gets so excited when she is here.

5. My mom having the day off tomorrow to just help me. And sit with me. Because nothing is better then my mom.

6. All the yummy food my sister has been cooking lately. And all of our random phone conversations throughout the day.

7. Layla's Purim parade is on Friday and I'm way too excited for something that will probably last about 6 seconds.


9. We go to Florida for a week in a month.. I can't wait for Benjamin to meet his family and see all of our friends.

10. Though I complain this time is hard and I'm tired and feel like I'm doing a horrible job at being a mom... I know these days will forever be the best days of my life. Because the sneak attack hug & kiss from Josh.. and the sweet Benny sounds... and the random HI MAMA from Layla make it ALL. WORTH. WHILE.

... apologies again for complaining. Sometimes you just need to write it down.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

1 month old!!

1 month old! Posing with Benny the Bear (that's actually his name, per the tag...from Pottery Barn)

My big boy!

Looking out the window...

Neck Roll Love.


A little smile...he melts my heart. 

1 month stats:
Weight: I think around 11 pounds?? We'll find out at his doctor's appointment on Thursday!
Height: He's SO long.. I can't wait to see how tall!
Eating: Exclusively breastfeeding every 2-3 hours during the day, every 2-4 hours at night.
Clothes: Newborn (too small). 0-3 month is perfect. Some 3 months.
Diaper: Size 1 (NEVER WORE NEWBORN!) 

My baby boy....

One month. It's been one month (and 3 days..sorry for being late) that you've entered our lives. I truly can't remember life before you. And I don't want to. 

You are the sweetest little bundle of love. You are calm, sleepy, adorable. The days in the hospital were so special to me - we spent many hours together, just us, staring at each other and learning each other. You rarely cried and it was always due to hunger. You breastfed right away and continue to do amazing. You don't care if you have a dirty diaper.  We introduced the pacifier early and you LOVE it - we only use the soothies and they work really well. You're a professional bottle taker - Dada has fed you a few times now (using breast milk) and you take it no issue! 

You are great in the car - you sleep most of the time. If we are stopped for a while (to get gas, etc) you'll cry in frustration but as soon as we move again, you're happy! Layla sits next to you and often peeks over to make sure you're okay. 

You slept SO much you're first couple of weeks home - we had to set an alarm at night to wake up and feed you! We also woke you during the day to eat. I thought you were a dream baby but you're now letting us know when you're hungry ;) You still sleep a lot during the day but you are more awake & alert more often which is so much fun. At night, you go to sleep around 8:30 PM -- around the 5/6 AM feeding, you often want to stay awake and play with me. I love this time but I wish you'd sleep a little longer ;) I know you'll start going longer stretches at night soon. 

You love the bath - it's sooo adorable. I think the warm water is really soothing - at your last bath you actually fell asleep!! SO opposite of your sister - it's a huge relief. Your skin is very dry so I only bathe you 2-3 times a week. Once you start crawling and running around, you'll get bathes more often!

You are just starting to look at us and focus - I have seen you smile at me after I smile at you - I don't know if it's on purpose yet but I can't wait for those smiles!!! 

On Wednesdays, Thursdays & Fridays, we spend the day together - just you & I - Layla goes off to school or Mom-Mom & Pop-Pop's house and Dada is at work. It's so much fun - we nap a lot, clean and play. I'll take out the play mat this week so you can get some tummy time in. Your head control is really amazing already - my strong little man. 

Everyone that meets you says how adorable you are - they all also comment on your size. You are so big. It's amazing. I think you will have to play sports ;)

We love you so much little man - thank you for bringing us so much joy in these past month. Keep on growing and sorry Layla is always in your face - it's because she loves you so stinking much!!



My gorgeous boy. 

So cute. So big.

Our first kiss.

Benjamin's other mama.. my sister, Kim :)


My little love.

I'm a boy!

Uncle Adam & Benny Bop

Pop-Pop & Layla

Um..Mom.. what is happening? - Layla

Layla, myself & Benjamin. They are meeting for the first time. I'm so happy. And I'm in pain thanks to C-Section, lol.


Grandma & Benny!

Mom-Mom Millie with her 10th great grandbaby!

Mom-Mom Rose with her 14th great grandbaby!

Uncle Matt & Benjamin

Helloooo Mama!

Ready to GO HOME! (Onesie said "Birth: Nailed It")

Upon peeing all over his onesie, we changed him into this - his second going home outfit ;)

First time in a car seat and loved it!

Home! Relaxing with Dada!

Layla checking in on her brother...

You look cold!

HERE YA GO! NICE & WARM ;) (no babies were hurt in the taking of this picture, lol)

My babies.

First sponge bath..not a fan. 


Toasty and warm!

Grandparents & their grand babies!

I can't believe how yellow.. thanks Jaundice giving Benny the nice tan, lol.


Grandpa & Benny.

Aunt Heather & Benny. I love this!

Cuddles with Dada


Benny's bris!!

Benny's bris!!


Intense convo?

Discussing the weather....


Aunt Ray came to visit!

My sweet.

Loves to sleep on his belly...

"9 Months Ago My Mom Read 50 Shades of Grey"